Because everybody's doing it: A St. Valentine's Day post

St. Valentine's. It's just like Christmas in that I don't really celebrate it, and may even actively dislike it. But it's a fine theme for a post!

While there's a strong romance tradition in comics, it's a perverted kind of romance. And since everything I know, I learned from comic books, well, it has made me ill-prepared for the pressures of dating, wooing and relationshipping. After all, comics aren't really about love so much as they are about...

Gun fetishism

Taking advantage

Manipulating and dominating women

Doing it in front of the kids
Teen sex

And the inevitable consequences

Spanking
Close-to-the-crotch action

Ménage à trois
Orgies

Swinging

And in extreme cases, incest

And even necrophilia
Good God, now I know why I'm single.